All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
