He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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