Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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