So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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