yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
