There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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