I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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