no. you can't hotbox the world.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
