she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
