he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
