This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Mom said you looked used
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we're so committed to being not committed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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