im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize