so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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