it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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