Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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