some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
