I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
