great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
