Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

and trust me i need no booty pop lessons

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.

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(206): View more from Washington

Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.

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(253): View more from Washington

You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

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(903): View more from Texas

she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness

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(937): View more from Ohio

Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.

(734): View more from Michigan

please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso

(603): View more from New Hampshire

:)

(603): View more from New Hampshire

i can feel colors

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