she is the kim kardashian of front butts
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
