Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
