I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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