i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish I only lived at night.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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