i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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