would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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