hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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