Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize