im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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