4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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