Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
