I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How does one acquire holy water?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize