Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
