..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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