She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
