Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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