Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
