I molested 6 butterflies tonight
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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