i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize