like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
