who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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