just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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