He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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