He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can you bring me the toilet please
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
