The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
