not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My pussy is not your playground.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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