I just googled if crying burns calories
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
