Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
