4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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