i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
