Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
