dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
