In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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