I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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