Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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