your thong is hanging out like whoa
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize