My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
