gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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