I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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