I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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