youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
