I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
